minalisms


    The joy of Pepsi

    Oh, Pepsi Co., do you employ Neanderthals? Because based on your new iPhone app, “AMP UP Before You Score,” I’m positive that you have minimal knowledge on business, image and taste.

    Firstly, I get it — I get that your “energy drink” is primarily marketed to teens through 30-something boys, because god knows they need help mustering up energy. But even more so, AMP Energy exists to give Cool Guy his cool, Skater Dude his tricks and Mr. Pussy more vaginas than even a harem in heaven can offer. Seriously, I GET IT.

    But why, in this latest marketing maneuver, are you being such a jerk?

    I don’t care how many woman-haters in your boardroom grunted with approval over the idea of “AMP UP Before You Score” — a mobile software application that encourages zeroes to feel like heroes by publicizing their sexual conquests via Twitter, Facebook and e-mail — but, silly Pepsi, you just shot yourself in the stanky leg.

    And after all the flak that’s surfaced because of your indecency — by way of women and men — you said:

    “Our app tried 2 show the humorous lengths guys go 2 pick up women. We apologize if it’s in bad taste & appreciate your feedback. #pepsifail.”

    Thank you, Pepsi, for showing the country that you have as much taste as the douchebags who will use your app and contract a venereal disease that will burn like hell.

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    One Response to “The joy of Pepsi”

    1. 1 MOAM Says:

      More vaginas! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

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