minalisms


    Posts Tagged ‘food’

    Why does my turkey taste like ham?

    Saturday, September 15th, 2007

    Is my palate so inexperienced that it doesn’t know what turkey — and ham, for that matter — tastes like? Could it be that after all the mysterious processing, sliced smoked turkey and sliced ham would be hard to differentiate?

    I asked my co-worker: “Bob, why does my turkey taste like ham? to which he laughed at me and exclaimed, “Your turkey tastes like ham?! …Well, anyway.” This is Classic Bob. He’s one of the nicest people in the newsroom, but I’ve yet to get a clear, concise answer from him — a man who has worked with words for over 30 years.

    So I took it a step further and asked him to try a piece of my sandwich meat. He did so and said, “Uh huh, yeah, that’s turkey.”

    “Really? Well then what does ham taste like?” I asked.

    “Well, it’s just different, Minal. Ham just has a different taste,” he said.

    Carbs will rock you

    Friday, September 7th, 2007

    My spiral into carb gluttony began this morning, when I remembered that there still was no milk in the refrigerator. For me, milk is breakfast. Its necessity is symbolic. Without it, I lapse into diet doldrums. It matters not that I consume milk while breakfasting (which commonly involves cereal), but it’s imperative that it’s an option. It’s my motivator.

    So today, I set myself on a crazed binge that — eight hours into my day — I still cannot break.

    My diet (thus far) for Sept. 7, 2007:
    53 Parmesan & Garlic Cheez-It crackers
    4 slices of homemade cinnamon-sugar toast
    2 of Gus’ handrolled, salted pretzels
    2 tablespoons of mild cheddar cheese dip

    As I write this blog entry, my cousin, No. 1219, informed me that she’s lost 20 pounds since March. The irony.

    DIE(t)ing: The end

    Wednesday, March 14th, 2007

    Today marked the end of my two-week diet. To celebrate, I ate maybe six Sour Jacks, which were so intense I think they burned the inside of my cheeks. I still have a bagful if anyone is interested. Otherwise, they’re going up on eBay as “Candy that will kill you.”

    DIE(t)ing: Day 9

    Friday, March 9th, 2007

    So, contrary to my fears of dying over this diet, I am still alive. And I am still succeeding. Put your shock aside for a second because it blows even my mind to know that I haven’t consumed any sweet snacks or desserts for nine whole days.

    How did this happen? Where did this focus come from? Who’s that girl who lost 1.3 pounds in the past two weeks? Oh wait, it’s me. 🙂 Hey, you! Write this down: I rock.

    Why? Because I went to celebrate the birthday of a Mr. DJ Crucial over the weekend where his equally musically inclined wife, DJ Agile 1, made cupcakes. And not just any kind of cupcakes, oh no. She made yellow-cake-mix-with-chocolate-frosting cupcakes. Does anyone know how much I L-O-V-E the yellow cake with chocolate frosting? It was rather depressing to watch 15 others treat themselves to heaven. While I was in hell. Hungry.

    Why else? Because Ben baked chocolate chip cookies the day after the birthday party, and I had not a one. Talk about progress.

    Also, to add to my lifestyle change — or perhaps my unstable state of mind — I have signed up for a fitness challenge at work. It starts March 19 and lasts for 10 weeks. My goals are both in the nutrition and fitness departments. So, that means continue on this no (or maybe low) sugar diet, and work out for at least 30 minutes a day. I may even win $1,000 in a contest the company automatically enters participants in.

    If I win, the money will go toward a lifetime supply of yellow cake with chocolate frosting. The end.

    DIE(t)ing: Day 3

    Friday, March 2nd, 2007

    I’m only checking in to assure you all that I am still alive, even after the reality of an extended diet made me go numb yesterday. I swear I lost all feeling in my face when my friend agreed to my half-hearted deal. 

    When I got home last night, I was sprawled out on the bed, depressed and pleading with Ben to allow me to have some Neapolitan ice cream. He instantly shook his head no. So I continued to plead. I got to be such a pain-in-the-ass, I’m sure, that he genuinely offered to get me some ice cream … perhaps he thought I was experiencing some serious physical anguish. And instead of thanking him, I yelled, “NO! What kind of boyfriend are you?! Do you want me fail?!!” And then I buried my head in a pillow, mortified that I just experienced the onset of SFCBS (Sugar-Free Crazy Bitch Syndrome). They say love conquers all, and I hope it does.

    This morning, as I was whipping up a sloppy PB&J for breakfast, I paused to wonder whether I was violating my diet. Does a peanut butter and jelly sandwich come under the category of “sweet deliciousness?” I was worried. So I ate the damn thing before I gave myself any more time to justify why I shouldn’t. Tell me I didn’t break any rules.

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