minalisms


    Posts Tagged ‘family’

    Dream state

    Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

    I had one of the more scarily bizarre dreams of my lifetime last night.

    I know, you don’t so much care to read about another’s dream. Because, if you’re anything like me, you’re curious about just how scary/bizarre it is but know better than to ask for a play-by-play about something that, inevitably, is wholly uninteresting and anticlimactic .

    But I dreamed last night that Ben and I had a baby; the most adorable little girl with dark hair and big brown eyes who looked more like an 8-month-old by the time we brought her home, which (surprise!), wasn’t our home at all.

    I was calling my baby by three different names — Brooke, Gus and Asha — and growing frustrated by those who called her by the wrong name. This detail, I believe, symbolizes my control issues.

    Anyway, I started nursing my baby for the first time, and somehow the act of breast-feeding was the easiest thing I could have done, which I’m sure is a statement my mom-friends who nursed their real-life kids would guffaw at.

    Once she was fed and burped, I placed Brooke-Gus-Asha into her bassinet and walked away. I don’t know how much time elapsed, but I thought I heard cooing sounds so I went to check on her. As I peered at her face, I discovered that she was very much not cooing but choking on milk she had spit up.

    And so I saved her.

    I quickly yet calmly picked up my dream-induced daughter and patted her back  to clear her throat. Her breathing steadied.

    I saved her. I saved her even though seeing her choke would’ve been the precise moment I’d shake myself awake from a nightmare — when all seems hopeless.

    Sacred Sunday

    Monday, November 2nd, 2009

    There’s something about Sunday that always has me pause and give thanks. I reflect on my healthy mind and body, thoughtful parents, a flourishing marriage, a support system from here to halfway around the world, shelter, sustenance and my four-legged furries that nap all day long.

    I know there’s a reason I feel this way every Sunday; and I think you know, too.

    Let your light shine

    Saturday, October 17th, 2009

    “While popularly regarded as the Festival of Lights, the most significant meaning of Diwali is the awareness of one’s own inner light.”

    When your parents are cooler than you

    Friday, October 16th, 2009

    Once my mom and I were through discussing annual Diwali traditions over the phone today, conversation segued to family and my in-laws.

    “How is everyone?” she asked, “I know Suzy is very excited about Diwali.”

    “Are Joe and Claire doing good?”

    “How is little Ian? He’s going to be Elmo for Halloween!”

    She inquired about the usual suspects, and I followed up with four or five variations of “They’re fine.”

    Just when I thought we had gotten past formalities, she offered: “Well, Sonal is still sick, and Christina is getting sick too. …And Anne is now moving to Missouri, right?”

    I paused for a nanosecond, disoriented by my mother’s insight into the lives of folks I know more than she does. Then I laughed.

    “What’s so funny?” she asked.

    “Nothing,” I said, still amused. “You’re just a far better Facebooker than me.”

    Pity party

    Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

    For someone who is big on doing nothing during her time off, I certainly did a bunch this weekend.

    Trips to California do that; they’re never boring, and it’s during those trips that I remember just how many people I am connected to and how good it feels to be surrounded by those who understand you and your context.

    I’m coping with that familiar melancholy that comes after saying goodbye (again) to my relatives and close friends out West — there’s just no one in St. Louis who compares to my crew of parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.

    But there’s a reason for that.

    I’d be lying if I said the few(er), sometimes shallow relationships I have in St. Louis weren’t my own fault. One minute I am bragging about my preference to spend normal evenings and weekends at home doing nothing, and in the next breath I allude to the lack of connections I’ve made here in my new home city. And yet all this time the correlation had escaped me …

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