minalisms


    Archive for the ‘news’ Category

    Literary crack

    Friday, August 7th, 2009

    Hello, my name is Minal, and I’m an addict. One who has become dependent on, what one friend so aptly described as, literary crack.

    So. “Twilight!”

    Who’s with me here? Who else shares in my nerdiness over this four-part fantasy-romance series? Who else understands my delusional love for Edward Cullen — who is neither McDreamy nor McSteamy but McVampy? Who else wants to one day visit the breathtaking forests near Forks, Wash.? Who else sacrifices sleep for page after page of mediocrity that, as a collective, is something so shockingly excellent?!

    I’ll tell you who: my co-workers — ages 25, 59, 32 — who have regular powwows with me to gush about the progress of the plot; my dear husband, who checks in, eager to follow my hour-long paraphrase of the saga; and my sister-in-law, who got this whole damn addiction started.

    I swear it’s a treat. You should read it, too.

    Then call me.

    For the love of brain cells

    Monday, February 16th, 2009

    I hate trashy reality TV. First, because when I’m flipping through the billion channels of nothing interesting, I always, always land on VH1, where scandal, lies and high-pitched shouting suck me into the vortex of vapid entertainment. But primarily because of regret.

    You see, I distinctively recall a night in 2002 or 2003 when Cousin No. 225 and I were discussing The Bachelor.

    “You know what would be funny? A ghetto version of The Bachelor,” one of us offered.

    Well, there obviously was a mole in the room because, soon after, audiences all over the country were given the following classics, from which skanky teenagers found their heroes, MTV and its sister channel found its fortune, and my cousin and I found ourselves bamboozled: 

    Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, I Love New York, For the Love of Ray J — I swear, there is no end to this humiliating garbage.

    Where do these people come from? Why didn’t their parents smack the slutty out of them years ago? When will someone invent a TV that allows me to reach in and choke the person onscreen?

    Sure, my cousin and I thought our concept was brilliant, but we never believed that there would be people out there effed up enough to be cast in our series. But we gave humanity too much credit. How silly of us.

    Weighty obsession

    Saturday, December 13th, 2008

    Google Analytics is quite the marketing tool. From the time it was set up for this Web site, I’ve been able to track the number of daily visitors, where my visitors reside and which posts/pages were most popular — among other data.

    But one insight I’ve gained is too disturbing.

    It comes by way of the keyword section of Google Analytics, which tells me why some people visited my blog.

    To say that we are a country obsessed with a woman’s weight is the biggest understatement of all time. Keyword searches such as “measurements average woman,” “size 2 women’s measurements” and “36 24 36” have brought at least one visitor to my site every day since I wrote this blog.

    Is it a wonder why young American women, including myself for the past many months, consistently grapple with their weight? We’re so busy seeking the answer for the perfect body that we’ve yet to realize the heaviness of our self-inflicted misery.

    Letter to Sarah Palin

    Thursday, September 11th, 2008

    Dear Sarah Palin,

    You sound like a broken record.

    Please stop talking because your voice drives me crazy, and your party’s repetitive spin equates to nails on a chalkboard.

    Exactly what makes you think that hunting Hockey Moms are qualified to lead our country? Sure, I can relate to your down-to-earth demeanor and respect your family-first philosophy, but guess what? I’m not looking for anyone described as an “average American” governing higher offices in the United States. Average doesn’t cut it when it comes to leadership. Yet you, with your beauty-pageant charm and good looks, have convinced hordes of Americans that average is enough. Way to inspire. I suppose your campaign believes excellence as overrated.

    And going back to that Republican spin you spew, why not share something of substance at your next campaign stop? Who are you, Sarah Palin? Tell me something other than your Bridge to Nowhere story, something other than your Executive Jet on eBay story, something other than low blows and falsehoods about your Democratic opponents.

    Or, on second thought, don’t. Just stop talking.

    Thanks, Sarah. Thanks but no thanks for the exaggerations, half-truths and down-right lies.

    Sincerely,

    minal.

    Gold standard

    Sunday, August 17th, 2008

    The Olympic games have gotten me amped. Watching someone sprint 100 meters between nine and 10 seconds makes me want to emulate the achievement — of both physicality and will.

    I wonder: If this country swapped out inane TV shows like Extra, Maury and The Hills with programming related to sports competitions like swimming, track and volleyball maybe we’d strive for healthy rewards rather than material ones.

    Only 17 days of inspiration every four years is just not enough.

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